~ Read Job 29-30 Text, Audio
Lord God,
A
part of me longs for the past, for a time when life was easier and less
stressful. It’s not that I necessarily desire to be young again, but I
do wish I could go back to a time when the biggest problem was
determining what I wanted to be when I got out on my own. Back then, I
was young; my faith was fresh and untested by the pain of living in a
broken world. In those days, I thought I could do anything because I
knew you would take care of me. Back then I felt invincible.
Though
I have no doubt, you still care for me, Lord, you know the troubles and
trials I’ve seen in my life. You know that pain I’ve experienced.
Suffice to say, now I recognize that life doesn’t always work out the
way I thought it should or wished it would. Sometimes, life is painful
and difficult.
When
loved ones get sick and die, relationships fall apart, jobs get phased
out, and much of what we hoped our lives would be, never comes to
fruition, it’s tempting to give up and give in to the suffering, guilt,
shame and pain that are the consequence of living in a fallen world.
Lord,
how I wish my life could be like it was before, when my faith was still
new, before tragedy stole my optimism and the sinfulness of man made me
a cynic. How I wish I could go back to that period in my life when you
felt so much closer, I remember clearly what it was like.
Though
I still had my troubles, back then life was good. I was exited by new
challenges, and I had all the energy in the world to tackle them. I had
no fear, for I knew you were with me Lord, making my endeavors
successful, and providing for my every need. I always felt safe and
secure, because I knew you were protecting me from harm.
But
now things are different, Lord, and life is more complicated than it
used to be. While you have not changed, my circumstances have. My
troubles and stress have increased, and are slowly wearing me down. The
consequences of my past sin and selfishness have caught up with me, and
now I’m struggling to undo the damage they’ve caused. Every single day
serves as a growing reminder, of how much I need you and how little I
can do without you.
Lord
God, I know you understand the troubles I face. I know you recognize
the suffering, and pain of this fallen world; so I pray you won’t be
silent as I call out to you. I pray you won’t be angered by my prayer;
for it’s not my intent to complain about the life you have given me. Nor
am I trying to dismiss the blessings you’ve given. I realize that many
of my troubles are brought on by my own selfishness. I recognize that no
one else is to blame.
As
the same time, I also know, that you are a gracious, merciful, and
mighty God, whose loves me and promises to save me from my sin, through
Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, Amen.
