~ Read Genesis 30-31 Text & Audio
Lord God,
You
are faithful, and kind. Your word demonstrates how you provide for your
people, preserving them for their good, and your glory. It reveals your
holy plan to rescue them from their sins by grace, through faith in
your Son; and it shows me how you worked that out in history. Your word,
mighty God, is flawless, right, and true. It guides my way and lights
my path to you.
Holy
God, when I read the story of Jacob, and his life, my heart is
convicted of its sin. I hear how he deceived others, and manipulated
their actions for personal gain, and I recognize that I am often no
better. I see how he took matters into his own hand because he failed to
trust you fully with his life, and I am ashamed of how frequently I do
the same.
God,
I confess that sometimes, I, like Jacob, find it difficult to trust you
with everything in my life. That is to say, I often take matters into
my own hands. Though I am certain that I’m not the only person who does
so, knowing that gives me little comfort; for ultimately, Lord, I know
there are more cynical reasons for my behavior.
Though
I’d like to believe that I sometimes choose to take matters into my own
hands because of momentary weaknesses in my faith (as if that’s somehow
less offensive to your holiness), deep down, inside, Lord, you know, as
well as I do, that my reasons are much more cynical. We both know that
the real reason is control.
I
hate to admit it Lord, because it sounds so selfish, but I recognize
that the actual reason I sometimes try to do things myself, has less to
do with my failure to trust you, and more to do with my pride. I admit,
the real reason I often take matters into my own hands, is not that I
don’t believe you can handle everything in my life, but rather, I simply
don’t want you to.
I
know it sounds awful, but I’m being honest and true. Sometimes, Lord; I
don’t really want you involved in my problems because I know you will
expect me to do things that I don’t want to do. For example, I know that
you won’t let me run away from my troubles, as Jacob tried to do. I
know that you will require me to confront my own sin. I know that if I
give you control of all my life, you will reveal my pride, apathy,
laziness, jealousy, insecurity, pettiness, and failure. If I let you
have complete control of my life, Lord, I know you will make me: take
responsibility for my own selfishness and sin, seek forgiveness from
those I’ve hurt, and offer forgiveness to those who have offended me;
and sometimes Lord, I just don’t want to, though I know that I should.
Thank
you for forgiving me in those moments of weakness. Thank you for loving
me when my heart is hard. Thank you for pursuing me in my rebellion and
pride, even when I’m trying to handle things without your involvement.
Change my heart today to be more open to your work in my life, and help
me to submit to you, just as your Son did when he hung for my sins, so I
could be reconciled to you.
By his grace and for his glory, I pray in his majestic name. Amen
Where mercy is the rule, not the exception.
